Read a blog post today about running and selfishness. Made me wonder...if i want to get to the point where i am running five to six days a week...do i have to become selfish?
What is selfishness in terms of taking care of one's health and well being, vs doing it just for you. And where does addiction and ocd behaviors take over from healthy selfishness to true (bad) selfishness?
Its a fine line.
And i guess that definition of the fine line may vary from person to person. Is it due to personality types? Type A, Type B, Type C. Is one personality type more prone to crossing that line? And if one type crosses that line, even though everyone else sees them as selfish...why does that one type not see it either?
I'm a type B. DH is a type A. Most of the world sees Type A's as arrogant, self absorbed, independent, go getters who don't settle for anything but what they want. Of course when you get to know someone well, there are wonderful qualities about type A people. (which in our marriage DH and I balance each other out).
As a type B I fluctuate from relaxed do what you want, to yes let's go get em and make it our best effort.
As a mother of a toddler...who still hasn't quite made it to working out four times a week solidly (but have made great progress this year), and a wife (who'd prefer to be a SAHM and not work - but does at this point in time), my priorities are taking care of my family and my home. To do that i need to be healthy. But do i really need to work out six or seven days a week? no. To me that is selfish (and obsessive behavior).
At the same time, i wonder and think, it would be nice at some point to be selfish enough to toss aside my daily household activities, my kid, the dinner, etc and workout every damn day. And here is why it is selfishness to me. Because if i were to do that...to put my desire to exercise more as daily priority uno..there is no one to come behind me and do teh things that i would be doing in that time frame spent on exercising. and why? because i happen to have a spouse that is addicted to working out and spends too much of his free time doing it and not helping out more.
There are givers and there are takes and there are justice dealers. Those who are teh givers find the takers to be selfish. Those who are the takers find the givers as pushovers or lazy (but that doesn't stop them from continuing to take) and then the justice dealers get where both are coming from and do their best to keep all sides equal and balanced. Wait. is that type a, b, and c?
When i was younger i was a type a. And then the world knocked me over (a bazillion times) and i think i then turned to a type c and eventually merged to a type b. At the moment I think that type a side tries to sneak out sometimes and thats where i get frustrated with myself. I care too much to truly become type a. But sometimes, i would like to dip my toes in the type a waters.
what a strange topic.
I don't ever think any activity is selfish as long as you find a way that you feel is balanced. Personally, I run 5 days a week. All of my runs are either done before my family is awake, after they are in bed, or while they are at school/work. I try my best not to take away from my family time, nor do I neglect my parenting/wife/household duties to get my runs in. For me, it's all about balance. Keeping the priorities that you want and eliminating the things that aren't that important to you (and those in your life).
ReplyDeleteThis seems to work for my family. My husband is also a runner (he runs 4 days a week). He does his weekday runs during his lunch break or after the kids are in bed and we swap watching the kids to get our long runs in. Again, it's all about balance. We have found a system that works for us, where we both get what we want without negatively affecting our family life. I hope you can find what works for you.
good, i thought you were pretty well balanced! :)
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