Read a blog post today about running and selfishness. Made me wonder...if i want to get to the point where i am running five to six days a week...do i have to become selfish?
What is selfishness in terms of taking care of one's health and well being, vs doing it just for you. And where does addiction and ocd behaviors take over from healthy selfishness to true (bad) selfishness?
Its a fine line.
And i guess that definition of the fine line may vary from person to person. Is it due to personality types? Type A, Type B, Type C. Is one personality type more prone to crossing that line? And if one type crosses that line, even though everyone else sees them as selfish...why does that one type not see it either?
I'm a type B. DH is a type A. Most of the world sees Type A's as arrogant, self absorbed, independent, go getters who don't settle for anything but what they want. Of course when you get to know someone well, there are wonderful qualities about type A people. (which in our marriage DH and I balance each other out).
As a type B I fluctuate from relaxed do what you want, to yes let's go get em and make it our best effort.
As a mother of a toddler...who still hasn't quite made it to working out four times a week solidly (but have made great progress this year), and a wife (who'd prefer to be a SAHM and not work - but does at this point in time), my priorities are taking care of my family and my home. To do that i need to be healthy. But do i really need to work out six or seven days a week? no. To me that is selfish (and obsessive behavior).
At the same time, i wonder and think, it would be nice at some point to be selfish enough to toss aside my daily household activities, my kid, the dinner, etc and workout every damn day. And here is why it is selfishness to me. Because if i were to do that...to put my desire to exercise more as daily priority uno..there is no one to come behind me and do teh things that i would be doing in that time frame spent on exercising. and why? because i happen to have a spouse that is addicted to working out and spends too much of his free time doing it and not helping out more.
There are givers and there are takes and there are justice dealers. Those who are teh givers find the takers to be selfish. Those who are the takers find the givers as pushovers or lazy (but that doesn't stop them from continuing to take) and then the justice dealers get where both are coming from and do their best to keep all sides equal and balanced. Wait. is that type a, b, and c?
When i was younger i was a type a. And then the world knocked me over (a bazillion times) and i think i then turned to a type c and eventually merged to a type b. At the moment I think that type a side tries to sneak out sometimes and thats where i get frustrated with myself. I care too much to truly become type a. But sometimes, i would like to dip my toes in the type a waters.
what a strange topic.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wow
Time is flying by. Proof? My nephew is four weeks old already.
My cutie patootie just turned one on Thursday! WHere did the year go?
January: Trying to do a damn sit up three months post c section. Hah, finally got one in. Also cherishing remaining month of maternity leave.
February: I don't remember it. I went back to work, and it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. I now normally cherish those three days a week where i am not talking coochie coo babbles with my son all day, craving for an adult conversation.
March: Yea i kinda don't remember it either.
April: Must have started running in march...did first 5k in a few years. Impressed myself despite not knowing about the hills in teh course. Got motivated.
May: mmmm second favorite month of the year. Did second 5k, set a PR. (at that point) and stopped running pretty much for next six weeks. (not sure why)
June: Ok, i think i did two races in may, but it was such a busy month it too flew by. I believe DS started crawling and our home life was a new adventure. DH did a half ironman and did pretty good.
July: Ran another 5k, despite having taken 6 weeks off. It went ok. But i got back on track and ran a lot of miles (for me).
August: Got like 34 miles in i think it was (highest ever for me). Saw DH do a DNF at his second half ironman race. I think I was getting burned out by all the workouts between teh two of us. Whoever says that one persons workouts/races don't affect anyone else is nuts. Its a team/family joint effort to get those workouts/races in.
September: Did another 5k, set an awesome PR of 30:53. Nice! can't wait to do this one again next year. And my body also apparently had decided that was enough of running for awhile - my knee decided to get ticked off at every attempt to run thereafter. That was ok with me...a break here and there is nice.
October: Had the most beautiful fall weather and i couldnt' run because of my dumb knee. Wanted to but couldn't. Found out got a pinched miniscus that only acts up when i run (so far). Succombed to elliptical (hate it cause the feet placement is too wide for me - i got that gymnasts balance beam gait) and the bike (really - DH bought me a road bike for my birthday two years ago and i only rode it once). Decided to just go with the flow and growl every day its nice out and i want to run.
So here i am one year from the birth of my son and honestly...i still have 5lbs to go from pre preg weight, plus another 5-10 i'd like to lose. And some serious ab work needs to be done.
In November I am planning on signing up for pilates, figure i will focus on that and if i run along with (if i can) so be it. Also got the two mile turkey trot. Ok i guess i need to run a little, pain or not.
In december I still got pilates class and hopefully the angry knee will have healed and calmed itself completely and i can maybe get thirty miles in and cross that 200 mile mark for the year. If not...Hey i have run 162 miles this year! that is huge for someone who a year ago was not a runner at all.
My cutie patootie just turned one on Thursday! WHere did the year go?
January: Trying to do a damn sit up three months post c section. Hah, finally got one in. Also cherishing remaining month of maternity leave.
February: I don't remember it. I went back to work, and it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. I now normally cherish those three days a week where i am not talking coochie coo babbles with my son all day, craving for an adult conversation.
March: Yea i kinda don't remember it either.
April: Must have started running in march...did first 5k in a few years. Impressed myself despite not knowing about the hills in teh course. Got motivated.
May: mmmm second favorite month of the year. Did second 5k, set a PR. (at that point) and stopped running pretty much for next six weeks. (not sure why)
June: Ok, i think i did two races in may, but it was such a busy month it too flew by. I believe DS started crawling and our home life was a new adventure. DH did a half ironman and did pretty good.
July: Ran another 5k, despite having taken 6 weeks off. It went ok. But i got back on track and ran a lot of miles (for me).
August: Got like 34 miles in i think it was (highest ever for me). Saw DH do a DNF at his second half ironman race. I think I was getting burned out by all the workouts between teh two of us. Whoever says that one persons workouts/races don't affect anyone else is nuts. Its a team/family joint effort to get those workouts/races in.
September: Did another 5k, set an awesome PR of 30:53. Nice! can't wait to do this one again next year. And my body also apparently had decided that was enough of running for awhile - my knee decided to get ticked off at every attempt to run thereafter. That was ok with me...a break here and there is nice.
October: Had the most beautiful fall weather and i couldnt' run because of my dumb knee. Wanted to but couldn't. Found out got a pinched miniscus that only acts up when i run (so far). Succombed to elliptical (hate it cause the feet placement is too wide for me - i got that gymnasts balance beam gait) and the bike (really - DH bought me a road bike for my birthday two years ago and i only rode it once). Decided to just go with the flow and growl every day its nice out and i want to run.
So here i am one year from the birth of my son and honestly...i still have 5lbs to go from pre preg weight, plus another 5-10 i'd like to lose. And some serious ab work needs to be done.
In November I am planning on signing up for pilates, figure i will focus on that and if i run along with (if i can) so be it. Also got the two mile turkey trot. Ok i guess i need to run a little, pain or not.
In december I still got pilates class and hopefully the angry knee will have healed and calmed itself completely and i can maybe get thirty miles in and cross that 200 mile mark for the year. If not...Hey i have run 162 miles this year! that is huge for someone who a year ago was not a runner at all.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Diagnosis
Monday we went to the gym and i tried running on the treadmill, thinking, hey its softer it will help my run/knee pain. Nope.
So i went to DH's physical therapist and though my pain isn't enough to conclude a total diagnosis, it appears that my miniscus may be getting pinched and the pounding of running makes it angry. Not enough pain during day to day activities to require action. yet.
For the next two weeks i am to either do nothing or try the elliptical/bike for cardio. Not gonna lie, this does not help my motivation.
I am optimitistic however that if i just take it easy (and try not to get upset that my deadline for my goal of 200 miles is like 70 days or so away is fast approaching), that my knee will calm itself down and i will be running again before i know it.
I do have to say, that DH was SURE it was my IT band. Love him dearly, but i didn't think it was and its not. :p
I have run a whole 7.5 miles this month. eeeee
So i went to DH's physical therapist and though my pain isn't enough to conclude a total diagnosis, it appears that my miniscus may be getting pinched and the pounding of running makes it angry. Not enough pain during day to day activities to require action. yet.
For the next two weeks i am to either do nothing or try the elliptical/bike for cardio. Not gonna lie, this does not help my motivation.
I am optimitistic however that if i just take it easy (and try not to get upset that my deadline for my goal of 200 miles is like 70 days or so away is fast approaching), that my knee will calm itself down and i will be running again before i know it.
I do have to say, that DH was SURE it was my IT band. Love him dearly, but i didn't think it was and its not. :p
I have run a whole 7.5 miles this month. eeeee
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Planning for 2011
I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. One thing I have been learning in the last year is to just DO, and let the talking come afterwards. Instead of talking up something a lot and then not following thru and doing it or finishing it.
One thing I also know is that without proper planning you get nowhere at all.
So Dh and I have been working on compiling our racing calandar for next year.
Frankly, i just want to get through this winter running 25-30 miles each month. If i do that I will be setting myself up big in confidence, physical ability, and hopefully more weight loss. Nov-Feb miles are going to be a big deal in how next year goes for me. Working out in winter has been a big struggle for me. I hate the cold, I like to snuggle, on the couch under blankets and not move. I hibernate. I also hate to drive on winter roads. Hate it.
I have no excuses this winter though, DH is going to the gym each night i don't work so there is no reason for me to not go to the gym.
I can do it. I gotta stay focused and motivated and the more progress i keep making, the more excited i will be.
Anyways, I AM going to take on some new challenges next year. About 11 races i think, (this year i will have done 5). i will be doing the same 5ks i did this year (so ready to see my times drop) and will be doing a few 10ks, possibly a 20k, and..........i have it on my calandar.....my first half marathon.
This is where i don't want to shoot mysef in the foot. For it to happen I need to continue getting my runs in through winter. I need to make myself a priority in the spring and summer (where DH will be power training for his ironman). I need to eat right and keep things balanced in my life.
So here goes to 2011 goals....and making them happen!
One thing I also know is that without proper planning you get nowhere at all.
So Dh and I have been working on compiling our racing calandar for next year.
Frankly, i just want to get through this winter running 25-30 miles each month. If i do that I will be setting myself up big in confidence, physical ability, and hopefully more weight loss. Nov-Feb miles are going to be a big deal in how next year goes for me. Working out in winter has been a big struggle for me. I hate the cold, I like to snuggle, on the couch under blankets and not move. I hibernate. I also hate to drive on winter roads. Hate it.
I have no excuses this winter though, DH is going to the gym each night i don't work so there is no reason for me to not go to the gym.
I can do it. I gotta stay focused and motivated and the more progress i keep making, the more excited i will be.
Anyways, I AM going to take on some new challenges next year. About 11 races i think, (this year i will have done 5). i will be doing the same 5ks i did this year (so ready to see my times drop) and will be doing a few 10ks, possibly a 20k, and..........i have it on my calandar.....my first half marathon.
This is where i don't want to shoot mysef in the foot. For it to happen I need to continue getting my runs in through winter. I need to make myself a priority in the spring and summer (where DH will be power training for his ironman). I need to eat right and keep things balanced in my life.
So here goes to 2011 goals....and making them happen!
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
In Perspective
Got in a good 2.75 miles today. Mile one...oh yea. piece of cake. Mile two...feeling good. I even did the first two mile loops on the hillier route. Went for mile three on the easier route and bottaboom my knee starts hurting. Ok i think it might have started back somewhere in mile two, but i was too busy flipping thru the mp3 player (DH put on lots of not so lovely songs lol) to care. Got thru 2.5 and my form started to look a bit hobbly, and then my knee actually started to give out a bit. Decided i'd better walk that measly peasly quarter mile home so Dh wouldn't have to come scrap my cute arse up off the road.
In perspective, and realistically, reaching 250 miles by the end of the year at this point...not likely to happen. I can however if i can get this knee to cooperate cross the 200 mile marker, even i have to run it literally one mile at a time (one mile doesn't seem to bother the knee too much).
We shall see. Anything can happen.
In perspective, and realistically, reaching 250 miles by the end of the year at this point...not likely to happen. I can however if i can get this knee to cooperate cross the 200 mile marker, even i have to run it literally one mile at a time (one mile doesn't seem to bother the knee too much).
We shall see. Anything can happen.
Frustration and one proud wife!
I am truly frustrated at this point. in three weeks i've run like ten miles. It sucks. I went to run monday afternoon, had to push DS in the stroller cause my car broke down at target that morning and DH was taking care of getting it towed all evening. Made it a mile because my knee decided to start hurting and i didn't want to push it. I'm trying to stay in the flow of things right now, but the fact that i am 23 days away from the one year mark of DS's birth and still can't frickin get within five pounds of prebaby weight, i'm feeling really disappointed. I need to be burning calories and am struggling with getting any workouts in.
DH (whom i'm also kind of ticked at - been continuing his 'after this race i will be taking time off and be at home and doing more - but doesn't follow thru crap) did his first marathon this weekend and did awesome. For the University hospital and mayo clinic to have said a few years ago that he would never run again at all...they need to go back to school and study more medicine. cause DH smoked his goals and did it in 3:38:40. Totally beat his best friend that did the race and outdid all his buddies PR times. It was a really proud moment for me to watch him do it and cross the finish line all pumped up.
DH (whom i'm also kind of ticked at - been continuing his 'after this race i will be taking time off and be at home and doing more - but doesn't follow thru crap) did his first marathon this weekend and did awesome. For the University hospital and mayo clinic to have said a few years ago that he would never run again at all...they need to go back to school and study more medicine. cause DH smoked his goals and did it in 3:38:40. Totally beat his best friend that did the race and outdid all his buddies PR times. It was a really proud moment for me to watch him do it and cross the finish line all pumped up.
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